The Challenges Military Kids Face During PCS Season and Deployments - and How the USO Supports Them Through It All

By Trey Smith

Picture this: you pull up to the curb and get out of the car, standing in front of yet another new school. You take a deep, steadying breath. As a military child, you’re used to moving, but the nerves don’t necessarily go away. You push open the heavy front doors and instantly scan the crowd of unfamiliar faces, wondering who might become a new friend, as you navigate hallways and classrooms you’ve never seen before. This is the third time you’ve done this since kindergarten.

With your backpack slung over one shoulder, you remind yourself to stay open to the possibilities this new beginning might bring, all while knowing that deep down, it is very likely you’ll have this same experience again in just another couple of years – or maybe even months.

Life as a Military Child Today

This is the reality for many of the approximately 1.5 million military children in the United States. Aside from their service member parents, military children are the largest demographic when it comes to the military family community, outnumbering even military spouses.

Life as a military child is one of constant change: changing schools, changing friends, changing homes, changing even what country they live in. It is a life that requires military children to always be ready for their military parent to leave – often for months at a time a – and have their lives turned upside down. It means making friends with their fellow military kids, only for those friends to leave just a few months later. It’s a life that may mean not seeing your extended family for long periods of time, sometimes even for years.

But it is also a life filled to the brim with rewarding experiences that can encourage military children to grow, thrive and challenge themselves in ways that their civilian peers may not understand.

These children didn’t enlist, nor do they wear a military uniform, yet they still very much sacrifice and serve in their own way as active members of the military community. Here at the USO, we believe that all members of the military community deserve and need support through the unpredictable journey of military life, and that is why we have developed programs just for military children and their families.

Here are some of the challenges that military children face, and how the USO supports them along the way.

The Challenges of PCS Season and Finding a New Community

The challenges that military children face, and the resiliency required to do so, is a year-round experience for military kids. However, it can be especially difficult during the summer, which is also known as PCS season for the military community. A PCS (or, permanent change of station) requires military families to move alongside their service member to their next duty station, which typically occurs every 2-3 years. While other children are enjoying their summer break from school, many military children are bracing themselves for a move to a new city, state or even country that will see them entering a new school, home and community come fall.

Among all active-duty children, about 55% are between the ages of 6 and 18, when they are between kindergarten and high school graduation. During these prime education years, they will move between six to nine times, (which is, on average, about every two to three years), which is more than three times the national average. In 2023 alone, an estimated 30% of military service members moved to a new installation.

While these moves are crucial for our nation’s defense and the readiness of our Armed Forces, they also bring unique challenges for military families, especially the youngest members.

When a military child learns they must move, they know everything that comes with that: making new friends, leaving your current friends behind, as well as learning and becoming familiar with a new community. And most of all, depending on where their service member is in their military journey, they know that at some point they will likely have to experience that process all over again in just a couple of years. Anticipating these inevitable moves can lead military children to struggle with forming meaningful relationships with others, not only as children, but also into adulthood.

This constant feeling of being unsettled is often exacerbated when adapting to their new community.

As of 2023, only 65,000 of the 1.5 million military children attend one of the 161 Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) schools located worldwide. This means that most military children attend regular schools in their civilian community, where they are amongst civilian peers who may not understand the unique challenges of military life. This is where the military-civilian divide is most evident for military children, potentially making them feel even more isolated from their new community, and possibly making it harder for them to connect with others and make new friends.

Some military children must also navigate a civilian school administration that may not be equipped or experienced with dealing with the additional support that many military children need. Research shows that the way in which school staff interacts with a military child who has transferred in can either increase or reduce the student’s stress. In a 2010 study, the majority of military students reported that moving to a new duty station increased tension in the home, with some experiencing anger and resentment toward their family because of constant uprooting due to change of duty stations.

In addition, many active-duty military families live off-base instead of in on-base housing at their assigned installations. While this can open up military families to meeting others with diverse experiences, lifestyles and families, it can also lead military children to experience even more of the military-civilian divide outside of school, as they may feel that their civilian neighbors don’t fully understand what they’re going through.

How Military Children Can Lean on the USO During PCS Season

Between constant moves, upheaval and the feeling of separation due to their parents’ service taking them far away, the USO has always recognized the struggles and needs of military children. At our 250+ USO Center locations around the world, and various programs and events that are targeted and geared toward our youngest members of the military community, military children know that they can always turn to the USO for support.

USO Centers

Military children can visit our USO Centers to find their “home away from home” – a space that is designed to be welcoming to not only service members and military spouses, but also their children, where they can engage in kid-friendly activities. Each USO Center around the world has its own distinct activities and programs, and they can range from arts and crafts, to scavenger hunts and video games, to family game nights and more.

Regardless of the activity, these programs are designed with the intention of providing military kids not just a place of comfort and fun, but also a space where they can connect with other children their age who are going through the same challenges as they are. This can prove to be essential, as a 2018 study shows that “social connections can act as a buffer against the impact of stressful or negative life experiences on mental health.”

“We come multiple times a week,” said Jessica Mclaughlin, a military spouse and parent. “The family room is on point and the free snacks and coffee make our day. From the first day we got here to Germany, we actually walked from where we live just to come hang out.”

Our Centers also provide military kids with the ability to connect with their loved one no matter where they may be in the world. Centers are outfitted with free Wi-Fi, computers and international phone calling.

No matter where they are or move to in the States or overseas, when a military child walks through the doors of their local USO Center and sees the familiar red, white and blue logo among the cozy couches, activities and friendly volunteers, they know that the USO is a safe haven just for them.

USO Canine Program

Military kids can also enjoy the USO Canine Program at select Centers which, among other things, brings certified therapy dogs in to interact with visitors at our locations.

Aside from the natural bond and joy that kids can experience when engaging with these dogs, research shows that interacting with animals can make an incredible difference – and improvement – in one’s physical and mental health. Other studies have shown that after petting animals, people were found to have increased levels of serotonin, prolactin and oxytocin – all hormones that can play a part in elevating moods and decreasing anxiety and the feeling of loneliness.

Across the globe, many USO locations have continued to increase our use of therapy dogs into our Centers, so that members of the military community can benefit from the presence of these animals in a safe, comfortable space. In a world of constant change, military kids know that their new four-legged best friend is just as close as the nearest USO Center.

The Challenges of a Deployment for Military Children and Their Families

Aside from adapting to a new environment during PCS season, another challenge that military children can face is the deployment of a parent or family member. This sudden absence of a loved one can be difficult – not only do military children miss their military parents, but they also must adjust to a different home dynamic as well. This can have a significant effect on them.

One of the most significant challenges that comes with a parent’s deployment is the emotional strain, and the specific feelings that come with an absent parent can differ depending on each child. For younger children, they might struggle to understand why their parent is gone, and for older kids who understand their parent’s sacrifice, they may constantly worry about their parent’s safety and well-being. And while technology has increasingly given military kids the ability to connect with their loved one with video calls, emails and social media, possibly reducing the feeling of isolation, these devices could also serve as a double-edged sword. Constant access to news and information may exacerbate the worry and anxiety that comes with having a parent deployed.

Research shows that fears regarding a deployed parent’s safety can result in anxiety and depression. Another study shows that children relying on one parent to be the sole caretaker while the other is away can lead them to having higher levels of emotional and social difficulties, which can be a result of stress or mental health issues that the remaining parent may be dealing with.

But regardless, it comes down to this: military children are often separated from one of their parents for months at a time. A lot can happen in those 9-12 months, and for many military families, the distance and time apart can be difficult.

How the USO Supports Military Children and Families During Deployments

The USO understands that deployments can be one of the most challenging experiences a family must navigate during their time in the military. Our mission is to strengthen the well-being of the people who serve, and their families, and through that we often focus on the essential need of connection. Many of our military child and military family programs help ensure that even while separates by miles and months, military kids and their parents can still find ways to reach out to one another – and to their communities.

USO Reading Program

One of the USO’s most popular programs that enables connections between military family members during deployments is the USO Reading Program.

Through this program, service members who are away can record themselves reading a book and send a copy of the recording and the book back to their child, ensuring that they will still be home for bedtime for the child in their life.

Having that visual of their parent on screen can be crucial for children whose parents may be deployed in locations with limited internet access, where video calls might not be possible.

“The zanier that I am on the camera and the goofier the voices, the characters, the props, the more he just really engages with it,” U.S. Army Capt. Justin Meredith said while deployed to Kuwait, with a 19-month old child at home at the time of this interview. “My son is so engaged, and he’s so happy and he lights up seeing me.”

Military children can also participate in a sort of “reverse USO Reading Program” in which they are the ones who record themselves reading a book on camera, then add that book to their personal collection, as well as send the recording to their deployed father, mother or other family member. This ensures that no matter where a military child and service member are in the world, they have a way to connect and bridge the distance apart until they are reunited.

“I chose the book ‘I Love You Like No Otter’ because I really do love him like no other. He’s always there for me and I appreciate him a lot,” said a military child named Aiden, who recently sent a book recording to his deployed father through the USO Reading Program.

Having this ability to connect during a deployment and nurture that parent-child relationship is crucial, as studies show that a strong bond between parents and their children is essential for children’s mental health.

USO Entertainment

Military kids are also supported by the USO during difficult times such as deployments with one of our longest-run programs: USO Entertainment. From NFL handshake tours, to community concerts, to virtual meet-and-greets with actors – through the USO, military kids have the chance to meet some of their biggest heroes and connect with a piece of home. This all serves as a thank you for their own personal sacrifices as military brats, and a reminder that during a difficult time apart from their parent, they have not been forgotten by the American people.

“The USO has always been a great place to go for our children to feel like kids again and interact with other families; the concerts, entertainment and all the programmingboth virtual and in-person helps us to feel like we are normal and not cut off from the rest of the world,” said Chief Petty Officer Bill Noddin, a U.S. Navy sailor.

How Military Life Builds Resilience and Other Skills in Military Children

While the life of a military child can come with its challenges, it also provides a myriad of benefits, and many kids can flourish as part of the military community. One study shows that boys raised in a military environment reported higher self-esteem when compared to civilian boys and girls. Additionally, children were found to be more respectful and inclusive in social settings than their civilian counterparts.

Military kids also grow up with the opportunity to see and live in different parts of the world, exposing them to various cultures, customs and languages that are prevalent to their service member’s duty station at the time, whether that be stateside or overseas.

As one military parent noted, “I love watching my kids’ identities weave through all the places we’ve lived. They’re such worldly, awesome kids — it’s not a detriment to them. I love taking this time to reflect on all the ways they’ve been challenged.”

Military children have always carried an invisible burden that few truly understand. But they have also shown incredible strength and resilience with each move that uproots them from the places and people they have grown to love, as well as during the absence of a parent during deployment that leaves an emptiness that words can’t fill. And thanks to the generosity of our supporters, the USO will always be a place that can help fill in the gap for military kids – as well as every other member of the military community – so that they know they have a second home to turn to no matter where their service member’s journey takes them.