We’re With the Havilands: A Military Family Facing an Unexpected Deployment Head-On

By Kristen Loflin

We often think of service members and their dedication to the mission - from answering the call at the drop of a hat to missing family milestones while deployed into intense environments. But the sacrifices and hardships also fall onto the families holding down the fort back home.

Living in Limbo

Krystal and the Haviland family are no strangers to the pressures of military life. From living overseas and adjusting careers to working through multiple periods of separation, Krystal and her husband Scott, who is an active-duty member of the U.S. Air Force, have faced just about every obstacle throughout their almost 20 years of marriage.

Krystal Haviland, a military spouse and USO Volunteer in Alaska. | Photo credit Courtesy Photo

The challenges of military life began early for the couple. After meeting in their hometown of LaCrosse, Wisconsin, at age 12, Krystal and Scott started dating following high school. Shortly after graduation, Scott left for basic training, and the couple quickly learned to adapt to life in uniform. Once they started having children, they decided that Krystal would stay home with the kids and homeschool them – an important accommodation that has allowed the family to spend time together despite Scott’s ever-changing schedule.

“We’ve definitely made some personal choices and sacrifices to be able to be accommodating, and I know that’s not the case for everybody,” said Krystal.

The Havilands and their children were recently stationed at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson (JBER) in Anchorage, Alaska, and were set to move to their next duty station this past summer – then duty called.

In February 2026, Scott was rapidly deployed to the Middle East, kicking the family into survival mode and putting their PCS preparations on hold.

“Theoretically, we would’ve either moved out or would be moving out of our home, living in our RV for a little bit before we started traveling. We were even on leave and were recalled from leave for him to go,” said Krystal. “We know what our limits are. I’m not a new spouse, so I have expectations and an understanding of what’s going to happen to a certain extent. But being pulled from leave when you were supposed to be PCSing…”

It was jarring and an unexpected challenge.

In addition to the family being separated from Scott for an unknown time, Krystal and their children suddenly found themselves living in limbo. After seven deployments and multiple overseas moves, the Havilands are no strangers to a change in plans – but this particular change was especially difficult.

Finding stability at the USO

In her early years of working, Krystal discovered a passion for caring for others – whether it was through organizing community events in her hometown or assisting at an animal shelter during an Oklahoma duty station. This passion would later inspire her to volunteer within her community – and made her a natural fit as a USO volunteer.

Although the family had utilized the USO for most of Scott’s career, it wasn’t until Alaska that Krystal became an official USO volunteer. The family attended a dinner at the USO Center on JBER, where Krystal provided advice on how to care for the greenery in and outside of the building. From then on, Krystal found a home away from home and a support system that has been vital during this unpredictable time apart from Scott.

“Being around people who can relate and then the people who just know not even to ask the questions because they know that you don’t have the answers, and just being able to have that common ground, is really nice. [The USO is] another space to be in that’s not your home,” Krystal said.

Krystal and the entire Haviland family have helped to create that same safe space for others by volunteering and building a community at the USO. Previously named the 2025 Q3 Volunteer of the Quarter for the USO Indo-Pacific region, Krystal was also awarded the JBER Civilian Volunteer of the Year and most recently, the Havilands were named the JBER Volunteer Family of the Year. Though appreciative of the acknowledgment, the celebration didn’t feel complete with Scott being deployed.

“Scott not getting to be there was hard because he plays a big role, not only in our family volunteering, but in the amount of time that I get to volunteer,” Krystal said, explaining how the couple balance the care of their children around their work and volunteering. “I joke and kind of say volunteerism is my career now besides being a mom. I support his career and he supports mine. I could not volunteer as much as I do if I didn’t have a good teammate to keep everything going at home too, as it shows, because why he’s gone, I don’t get to volunteer as much.”

And Krystal volunteers a great deal. In 2025, Krystal accumulated over 400 USO volunteer hours, including assisting in the opening of the USO Center on the Fort Richardson side of the base. Since Scott deployed earlier this year, Krystal’s time at the USO Center has not only been a chance to give back, but also a way to keep herself occupied while her husband was on the front lines.

In 2025, Krystal earned more than 400 USO volunteer hours and received multiple honors for her dedication to the military community, including the JBER Civilian Volunteer of the Year award. | Photo credit Courtesy Photo

“I can walk in there and easily have a conversation for 30 minutes to an hour – between the patrons and the other volunteers that recognize my face from being in there – just catching up with them,” Krystal said.

The community Krystal has found at the USO has been crucial in supporting her and their children, as the Havilands did not know how long Scott’s deployment was going to last, leaving the family to continuously operate in a state of uncertainty, putting plans on hold and missing more life milestones – like Krystal and Scott’s 20th wedding anniversary that was celebrated this past August.

“The Air Force loves making my husband be gone over my birthday and our anniversary because my birthday is in March and our anniversary is August,” Krystal joked. She explained that out of curiosity, they did the math and realized that out of their 20 years together, Scott has been deployed for approximately four total years – nearly 20% of their marriage.

Even once members of the unit were able to return home, Krystal figured that Scott would be one of the last to come home because of his determination to support his fellow airmen.

“We currently have four people from our unit that are expecting their babies within the next few months … So [Scott and I] had a big discussion because obviously this time is a little unique, but we’ve said that if him coming home means that somebody misses a birth, [Scott] won’t come home,” Krystal said.

Even in the face of more time apart and the risks that come with deployment, the Havilands are still caring and thinking of others.

Making the most of challenging times

With time apart being such a frequent aspect of their relationship, Krystal and Scott always prioritize the little moments in which they get to connect. When physically in the same location, they make sure to spend time doing chores together, such as folding laundry. While apart, Krystal and Scott take a “virtual walk together,” each going on a stroll while they can talk on the phone.

Krystal’s advice for military families going through challenging times is simple:

Krystal and Scott Haviland make the most of the moments they share. She encourages military families to cherish the little things, listen to one another and find meaningful ways to stay connected, even when miles apart. | Photo credit Courtesy Photo

”Just truly live life with your partner. Do the silly, corny things, listen to each other and be there,” said Krystal. “Find the moments that you can truly fit in together and they make a huge difference.”

As the Havilands worked through their period of unexpected separation, it was not lost on Krystal that her sacrifice – though quite significant – could have been even harder, and she never took that for granted.

“I think it’s really just a true understanding of what the sacrifice is. So many people thank our service members – and they’re vitally important and they deserve all of the recognition and more – but what the families are sacrificing too, not just the time away from their loved one but also that time they don’t get back,” said Krystal. “I’m so thankful that I just miss my husband dearly, but he will be coming home.”