The Power of Friendship: How One Airman Saved Another from Suicide

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal feelings, the Military/Veterans Crisis Line is available 24/7: Dial 988 then Press 1, chat live, or text 838255. A caring, qualified responder will listen and help.

By Danielle DeSimone

At first glance, it’s obvious that the friendship between U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Anthony Palacios and Senior Airman Austin Irving is one of trust, respect and humor. While Anthony leads the conversations with boisterous jokes and anecdotes, Austin is more reserved and contemplative – but both play off each another seamlessly with constant smiles, laughs and inside jokes.

“It’s a good dynamic. We’re complete opposites, but it just works,” Austin said.

Their friendship, however, goes far deeper than simply laughing over shared stories about military life in Germany. The two have bonded over hours of work and, significantly, through one incident that forged their friendship into what it is today: the moment in which Austin decided to take his own life, and Anthony intervened.

Together, Anthony and Austin serve as an example as to why open discussion around mental health in the military matters, and how looking out for the people who serve around you can make a profound difference in their lives.

Anthony and Austin’s Inspiration for Service and Experiences Being Stationed in Germany

Staff Sgt. Anthony Palacios is originally from San Antonio, Texas – “born and raised” – and has been serving in the Air Force for almost nine years. Anthony joined the Air Force because he grew up surrounded by family members who had also served. His great-grandfather is a Vietnam War veteran, and many of his uncles and cousins served in the Navy, Marine Corps and Army. However, Anthony chose the Air Force for its career opportunities and – he jokes – the best food in the military.

Meanwhile, Senior Airman Austin Irving is originally from San Diego, California, and has been serving in the Air Force for just a few years. For Austin, the decision to join was rooted in family and history – growing up, his grandfather would often tell Austin stories about the Cold War, and Austin became fascinated by the history of the Berlin Airlift.

“The U.S. Air Force won over the hearts of the individuals that were trapped within East Germany and East Berlin by dropping off food and supplies when their own government couldn’t provide it for them. That meant something to me,” Austin said. “I joined to provide help and support for people who needed it. And ultimately, I think I get to do that in my job.”

Both are stationed in Ramstein, Germany, and while Anthony has been stationed and deployed to many locations – including overseas deployments – this was Austin’s first time being stationed abroad.

Anthony and Austin met while working in the Precision Measurement Equipment Laboratories (PMEL), which is attached to the 86th Maintenance Squadron, a unit that supports equipment and operations for the 86th Airlift Wing. Their lab consists of a team of 40 people, and within that, Anthony and Austin are on a team of just four people, managing the logistics for a huge area of operations, including all of Europe and half of Africa. It was during this work that the two first became friends, and Anthony took the slightly-less-experienced Austin under his wing.

“When he first arrived on the job, he was the sweetest, most perfect airman in the world,” Anthony joked. “Austin, bless his heart, would sit there and do everything by the book. That’s what we need. We need people to have integrity.”

Anthony explained that while Austin’s approach to work when he was first stationed in Ramstein was admirable, he would sometimes take on too much, and it was Anthony – a more experienced airman and a friend – who would guide Austin on how to be effective at his job without letting his duties overwhelm him.

“When I came into that position, I was a very good ‘model airman.’ I was very good at following directives and at following rules and generating answers for questions … But what Anthony had taught me was to be more assertive and to be able to properly align what was most important in that moment, which I think made me a more effective leader, which is going to set me up for when I make the next rank,” Austin explained.

“I’m going to need that ability in order to defend my airmen. I need to be able to stand up for them in ways that they cannot for themselves. And I would never have learned that if not for this guy. He’s the number one teacher, world’s best right here. World’s best.”

That guidance and earned respect between the two airmen was first built on many, long hours on the road, driving between U.S. military installations in Germany to pick up and deliver equipment. On these drives, and while spending long stints in secure facilities where they could not have their phones, the pair had nothing else to do besides talk.

“We became very close,” Anthony said.

While stationed in Germany, both have embraced the easy ability to travel on their downtime, and for Austin this is especially exciting, as he can see all the historical sites that meant so much to him growing up and influenced his decision to join the military.

However, while Anthony enjoys the travel opportunities that a duty station in Germany provides, “being in Ramstein, Germany, is a gift and a curse,” he said.

“It’s a gift, because we’re in the hotspot of Europe and there’s so much traveling to do. But that’s also the curse because you always hear about overseas assignments where everyone’s really close-knit, everyone’s really tight, everyone’s like a family – you do not get that here.”

Anthony explained how in his past duty stations overseas, the local military community bonded together due to the remote nature of the location. With nothing else around, so far from home, service members and military families alike turned to one another for support. That sense of community is important, especially when tackling the challenges of military life. After all, studies show that a strong sense of community can lead to reduced mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety and stress, which is especially important in a high-stress environment such as the military.

However, in Ramstein, Anthony and Austin shared that they feel that the sense of community that they’ve experienced at other military installations is not as prevalent here.

“I think it’s so weird because Ramstein is home to around 70,000 people, right?” Austin said. “And yet it is still one of the most isolating places I’ve ever been in my life. It often feels lonely and having to work against that has been probably the most difficult part about working at Ramstein.”

This would not be the only time Austin struggled with his duty station in Ramstein. While stationed there, Austin struggled deeply with his mental health. At his most difficult moment - where he considered taking his own life - Anthony intervened.

Austin’s Journey to Recovery

It was in January 2024 when Austin’s struggles with his mental health came to a tipping point.

“I was struggling for several months with just a lot of different issues, lots of things that kind of culminated into this one massive issue,” he said.

At first, Austin hoped that he could work through it on his own. He threw himself into his work, trying to distract himself by keeping busy with friends and various activities on the weekends. But none of it was helping.

“After a while, I started off – very, very small – flirting with the idea of suicidal ideation,” Austin said. “I know what that is now, but at the time I just thought, ‘I really wish that when I go to bed, I didn’t wake up the next morning.’”

He began researching ways to end his life and settled on pills and alcohol.

“I went out and bought those, put them in my house and I was like, ‘I’m not going to use it, but I have it there. It is there if I need it’.”

Then, one day in January 2024, Austin made the decision to end his own life.

“I was at work, was there pretty late, and I realized, ‘Man, if I go home today, I’m definitely going to kill myself.’ And it is a very scary thing, realizing that there’s nothing that could be done about that, that I couldn’t stop myself at that point.”

Austin continued his workday, even teaching his weekly class and finishing up the day as if nothing was wrong. He had already packed up his computer and was about to leave for home when he ran into Anthony, who was used to Austin’s usual, cheerful demeanor, and immediately knew something was off.

“Anthony pulled me aside into this private room and he was like, ‘Dude, you look pale. You look like a ghost. Is everything okay?’” Austin recalled. “And I just started breaking down to him and telling him about pretty much everything that had led up to that moment and how I didn’t know what to do and how I just felt really, really scared.”

Anthony told Austin that he was there for him and cared about him, as did everyone in their unit. But then, he reminded Austin about the barbecue their team was having the next day and asked: “If I let you go home today, am I going to see you there tomorrow?”

“And I told him plainly, I said, I don’t know. In my head I’m thinking, ‘if I go home today, I’m going to kill myself.’ It was so scary in that situation, in that moment,” Austin said.

Anthony immediately took a handle of the situation. He told Austin to stay put and that he was going to make a few phone calls. Anthony quickly followed the basic principles of Ask, Care, Escort (ACE), a Department of Defense suicide prevention training for service members, by not just identifying the situation and supporting Austin, but also by not leaving his side and thus ensuring his safety.

“Even if you don’t know what the next step is, just at least know who to ask or at least where to go, because I knew at least a general direction to go into and that started the chain to get Austin where he needed to be,” Anthony said, explaining the importance of knowing who to turn to if other service members encounter a similar situation. “Our leadership has been absolutely phenomenal.”

In fact, their leadership quickly got involved and did an excellent job in ensuring that Austin had the necessary medical care quite literally that day, bringing him to a nearby military hospital.

“I stayed in the hospital for a week and I got absolutely flooded with help – psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist – everything that I could need in that moment,” Austin said.

Austin credits his leadership and Anthony for being incredibly supportive throughout the entire process, recalling that his flight chief and first sergeant drove to the hospital to eat lunch with him every day that week, and that Anthony was constantly checking in on him.

The Air Force offered to expedite a permanent change of station (PCS) and send Austin to a duty station back in the United States, closer to his family and support system. But after a lengthy discussion with his loved ones, Austin decided that “my fight was here” – he was determined to tackle his mental health challenges in Germany. He was instead moved to another job with a slightly lower stress level, where he could still work while also seeking mental health care and prioritizing his recovery.

“About six months later, I had made a full recovery and now, I teach suicide prevention classes across my squadron and across my group,” Austin said. “You have the 1% of help that came from the psychiatrist, the psychologist, the therapist – huge help. And then you have the 1% from my leadership – very grateful for them. But I attribute the other 98% of my success to the man that stopped me from going home that night.”

Austin credits Anthony with saving his life, and in the months that followed, the two became even closer friends, bonded through this experience, as Anthony continued to check in on Austin and support him through his recovery journey.

Now, in his suicide prevention classes, Austin openly shares his own experiences with suicidal ideation, and the benefits of the ACE method in suicide prevention.

“I realized only after getting the help that I needed, how effective that process is and how effective mental health care is within the military.”

And while Anthony is adamant that Austin shares his own story and never speaks for him about the incident in January 2024, he shared that he’s happy that Austin feels comfortable speaking about his experiences more widely. He too believes it has helped dispel a lot of rumors about how mental health is handled within the military, and that many misunderstand that military leadership simply prioritizes the privacy of the person in question above all else.

Austin feels strongly that service members should openly discuss mental health – both its challenges and the pathways to navigate it – without fear of repercussion. He hopes that in doing so, they can all offer support to others who might be in need.

“We change and shift the culture, and we do that by speaking openly about it and by being respectful to those who speak about it, by asking them questions, by letting them know that they’re cared for and that they’re here and that we want them here,” Austin said. “And you can only do that if you have these conversations, and you can only do that if you promote those conversations.”

Anthony and Austin’s recognition through the USO

Anthony’s efforts to recognize a dangerous situation, provide support and ensure his friend and fellow service member got the help he needed eventually would lead to him being recognized as the USO Airman of the Year 2025.

“This guy is the USO Service Member of the Year for very, very good reason,” Austin said, lauding Anthony not only for the one moment in which he saved his life, but also for his entire friendship and guidance as a fellow airman.

To receive the award, Anthony was given leave to briefly fly back to the United States for the USO awards ceremony and gala, as well as a series of events in honor of him and the other USO Service Members of the Year.

Each awardee was allowed to bring one guest, and while many others typically bring a partner or a family member, Anthony brought Austin. Alongside the other USO Service Members of the Year and their guests, Anthony and Austin got to attend the Coca-Cola 600 NASCAR race, received a full tour of Washington, D.C. and more.

However, this was not the first time either of them had experienced the support of the USO. Austin was familiar with USO airport Centers, where service members and military families can rest and recharge in many airports across the nation during their travels. Anthony was far more familiar with the organization.

“The USO has always been there for me and my family,” Anthony said, explaining that when he was deployed to Qatar, he began volunteering with the USO Center located on-base there.

“I thought, ‘You know, the USO has always been there to cover my back, I might as well give back.’”

Anthony spent many hours volunteering at the USO in Qatar and even led a team in establishing a new USO location at a U.S. Army Patriot missile site, which was crucial for boosting morale in this remote and high-pressure environment. Anthony was also named a USO Volunteer of the Month at his Center for his efforts.

“I actually had a blast. The crew out there was awesome,” Anthony said, explaining that he worked side-by-side with the USO staff members who are permanently employed and located in Qatar to provide support to deployed service members. Their outreach support stood out to him, showing that the USO would do whatever it could to reach service members in need.

The USO is committed to strengthening the well-being of the people who serve – and their military families – throughout their time in uniform. That includes during challenging times.

Suicide is now the leading cause of death among active-duty service members. Without consistent emotional support, the strain from things like deployment pressures or family separation can compound over time, increasing the likelihood of isolation, burnout or crisis among the people who serve.

While the USO does not provide clinical mental health services, as an organization dedicated to supporting members of the U.S. military, we have a critical role to play. By providing preventative and supportive programs and resources, we work to keep service members connected to loved ones, provide moments of respite and support them during difficult times.

Anthony and Austin’s story underscores just how crucial human connection and support is in the mental and emotional well-being of our service members. In saving Austin’s life, Anthony also created a ripple effect, as Austin now works to promote the importance of openly discussing mental health and being a resource to others in need. Today, the two remain close, a bond forged through this difficult moment, but also through many good moments as well, all shared because Austin is still here.

Their story is one, first and foremost, of friendship. They trade jokes and stories with the comfort and humor of two people who have known each other for decades, not just a few years. But it is also a story of how important it is to turn to others for help when you need it – and to be ready to support the people around you if you see someone in need.

“Anthony is one of my biggest heroes in the whole world. He’s the reason that I’m still alive and I am the best version of myself that I can possibly be today because of him, because of his commitment to improving me and his encouragement,” Austin said.

“And so, I attribute a lot of the success and the satisfaction that I now have in my life, being able to help others, because of the fact that he stopped me from going through with it. And that was all while he was doing amazing things at work, all while he was helping people day in, day out.

And he still made time for me.”